Strippers and Mirrors – How To Use Your Surroundings

Sapphire, New York

A lot of strip clubs pad the perimeter of their club room(s) with mirrors to give the illusion that the room(s) is(are) bigger. As a beginner, you’re probably more concerned about making a good impression on the people at your stage show then thinking about the walls, but I’d like to give you something to think about.

You can use the mirrors around you to your advantage. The most obvious is being able to see yourself and your form. When you’re just starting out, you may be a little self conscious and unsure about yourself, so getting a different perspective may ease your fears. By doing this, you can make slight changes to your routine when you see something that doesn’t look as appealing as you thought it would.

You can also use the mirrors around you to see how your customers are responding to your stage dance without staring at them and making them uncomfortable.

Bawdy House -Van Nuys, CA. Pic by: The Toe Stubber

As you read “How To Be A Stripper: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know But Were Too Afraid To Ask,” you’ll notice that I’m all about personal and money safety, so naturally, I would advise you to use mirrors to keep a watchful eye on your money box and the people around it.

One thing to be careful about is that customers can see you in the mirror too. If you’re up on stage don’t make a bored or grossed out face when you think no one’s looking and then turn around facing your customers with a fake plastered smile… there’s a good chance they saw that and needless to say, you’ve probably cost yourself some tips!

Video Taping At The Strip Club

Exotic dancers should be aware that some clubs video tape and record everything that is happening at the club. Although management’s main intention is to keep a watchful eye on club patrons and thieves, a stripper’s every move is likely to be caught on tape too.

The standard was to have seven tapes, one for each day of the week. When Monday’s tape was used up it was stored away and Tuesday’s tape was used the following day, and so forth. When the following Monday rolled around, the same tape from the previous Monday was used. Most clubs re-recorded over old footage within a week and anything you did was permanently erased.  However, with more modern technology, some club owners use thumb drives or video feed recordings to a more permanent and secure off-site location. With the latter option, the recording may be held for weeks, months, or even archived on DVD for longer.

Knowing that a stripper’s actions are video taped isn’t intended to scare women out of becoming an exotic dancer – it is intended to make strippers aware that there is a watchful eye in the sky. Although this can be beneficial to dancers, for example if a customer does something that the dancer wants the management to investigate, it can also be harmful. Because of the lax and often times playful setting a strip club portrays, dancers get ‘sloppy’ and sometimes bend the rules. It’s important to know that although the bouncers didn’t see it, there’s a chance that it could be reviewed by management.

Most of the time management isn’t going to say anything to you unless you did something that could jeopardize their license, but its best to keep your wits about you and stay focused at work.

Another thing to consider is that now days with the iPhone, Blackberry, and other camera equipped phones, customers too could be taking video or snapping photos of you. If this happens, and you aren’t okay with what he’s doing, make sure you talk to the customer and ask him to delete the image or video he’s taken of you. Although you have to deal with the club’s videotaping, you don’t necessarily have to with the customer’s. Involve management if you feel that it’s necessary.

Although you’re getting topless or naked at a club, it doesn’t give customers the right to tape you and exploit your images outside the club, so don’t  be afraid to let him know that what he’s doing is not okay with you.

Read, “How To Be A Stripper: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know But Were Too Afraid To Ask” for tips and tricks to learning how to be a stripper.

All images from Yahoo! Images

Funny: “Stripper Rant” – Best of craigslist

This ‘Stripper Rant’ from the Best of craigslist cracks me up :) Not sure where number 10 went… hehe

Stripper Rant


Date: 2006-03-27, 3:42PM PST



1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it’s the fucking deed to Trump Towers… what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It’s a fuckin’ dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.

2) You losers that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)…fuck you.

3) You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?

4) Don’t pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.

5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.

6) No I will not just let you “slip it in real quick” for $50 more bucks.

7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.

8) If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum in their pants from a lapdance.

9) Stop asking me out. You’re a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I’m smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn’t even fart your way.

11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all, your breath ranks (what’d you have for dinner, garlic and shit?), you’re about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno. More importantly: I don’t give a shit.

12) Don’t bitch at me about the $10 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.

13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.

14) No, you CAN’T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.

15 ) Boys, don’t sit in the front row with your “homies” and act all engrossed in some deep conversation during a girls performance because you want to look like you’re too “cool” to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. It’s a clear sign that you ain’t getting any.

16) DON’T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!

17) “So what do you guys do when you’re on your period?” Answer: I lap dance with guys in dark pants.

18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That’s extra.

19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!

20) I had a feeling you weren’t going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion and obnoxious perfume before our dance.

21) Hey cheapasses: please don’t come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to “Desperate Housewives” instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.

22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that’s why.

23) No seriously, my real name is Sparkle.

24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it’s oregano anyway you stupid mutherfucker!

25) Sorry, I don’t do that. Ask the ugly girl at the bar with the black roots and overbite.

26) I can see it’s your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a fuck or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don’t have to do “extra services.” I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.

27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.

28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me.

29) Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you’re ugly. So basically, more.

30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It’s like me going to PETA looking for a steak.

31) Girls–what’s with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.

32) Girls–stop lip-syncing to the song you’re dancing to on stage. Especially if you don’t know all the words.

33) Girls–if your toes curl and hang over your platform shoes a la’ Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size.

34) Girls–drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you’re trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you smell like lapdance funk.

35) Hey DJ! You suck!

36) Girls–may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking dancing llama on your ass is so lame.

37) Girls–some songs just should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are, you fucking weirdo), Sade, Boys II Men, or Bjork. For the love of God, Please.

Source: Best of craigslist

How to be a stripper – a how to guide for new strippers

How to Successfully Collect Tips from Stage Dances as an Exotic Dancer

Making sure you collect all your tips after dancing on stage is an important element to the income you’ll make as an exotic dancer. Using the information gathered from the book, “How To Be A Stripper: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know But Were Too Afraid To Ask” a step by step guide was put together to help you understand the steps you should take when collecting tips after your stage dance.

1. Bring your money box on stage. How you choose to store your money can vary, but the most common is to store it in a money box. A money box is usually a makeup box or some sort of plastic container with a handle. You want to avoid using a regular purse to store your money because it can easily blend into the dark lighting and it can look similar to a purse that a woman customer might have brought in. When you bring this box on stage with you, make sure it is out of the reach of any customer sitting at your stage. You don’t want to have someone steal it during your show.

2. Collect tips customers may have thrown on your stage. Gather up any dollar bills customers may have thrown on your stage while you were dancing. Doing this in a sexy manner can give customers a little extra incentive to tip you when you come by to collect individual tips.

3. Bring the money you’ve just picked up off stage to your money box. Once you’ve gathered tips customers may have thrown on stage, make sure you go to your money box before you continue collecting tips. Shove all your money in there without straightening or unfolding any bills… you can do this later.

4. Collect tips from customers sitting directly at your stage. Once your set is over and you’ve put your clothes back on, put your garter on one of your thighs. Always start at one side of the stage and systematically go to each customer. Stick the leg with the garter on it out to the customer and with one hand hold the money you’ve already collected to one side of your thigh, and with the other pull the garter out so that the customer can place the money inside your garter. Always smile and say thank you to the customer for their tip.

5. Pay attention to who gives you what. This is the time to evaluate which customers can be potential sources of money. The customer who tips you $1 probably isn’t going to buy a lap dance from you, but you can always ask. However, the customer who gives you a $5 bill is more likely to accept your offer. It’s very important that you look at what he’s wearing and any distinguishing features so you can find him again. Don’t try to remember the customer by the place he’s sitting, he isn’t going to stay in the same seat all night.

6. Remove some of your tips. When you finish collecting tips from customers directly on your stage, remove some of the tips from your garter. Depending on how much you have in your garter, you’ll want to remove between 20%-50% of it and put it in your money box. When you go to collect money from customers sitting around your stage (as opposed to sitting at it) you want them to know you just got off stage but not make it look like you already have plenty of tips. Customers tend to tip less if they think you’ve already made ‘too much’ from other customers.

7. Collect tips from customers sitting around your stage. After your stage set is over and you’ve collected your tips from customers sitting directly at your stage, try to collect tips from customers around your stage. Try not to think of this as a free for all where you ask every single guy at the club for a tip. Be reasonable and know which customers were actually watching you dance and which ones were getting dances from other girls, in the restroom, etc.

8. Store your money. Once you’ve collected all your tips, ‘shove’ all your money in your money box. The reason to ‘shove’ your money in is to prevent customers from seeing how much money you’ve actually collected and the amount of money you currently have in your box. You don’t want others to see how much money you have for safety reasons. You can straighten out your bills, count your money, etc. in the back room where you have more privacy.

Tips:

*Once in the back room, straighten out your bills

*Organize your tips in denominations of ones, fives, tens, twenties, and hundreds

*Exchange most of your ones for larger denominations (management, bartenders, or waitresses can provide this for you)

*Paperclip or rubber band any one dollar bills you may still have in groups of $20 or $25. This will make it easier for you to count at the end of the night or give change to customers.

*When making change for customers, always count out loud as you count out the change. You don’t want the customer to come back 10 minutes later saying you short changed him.

Predict the Amount of Money You’ll Make as a Stripper

If becoming an exotic dancer has ever crossed your mind, you’ve probably asked yourself ‘how much money can I make?’  Because this and a lot of other questions are running through your mind, the book “How To Be A Stripper: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know But Were Too Afraid To Ask” was written to help answer this and many other questions. Using the information gathered from the book, a step by step guide was put together to help predict the amount of money you can make as an exotic dancer.

1. Understand where the money comes from. The two main sources of money you’ll earn will come from (1) stage dances and (2) lap dances. The term lap dance, table dance, private dance, and personal dance can all be used interchangeably.

2. Begin by collecting your tips from stage dances. Your first source of income will be from stage dances. This is the money you collect after you’ve performed on stage. You should try to collect tips from everyone sitting on and in very close proximity to your stage and who might have seen you dance.

Because most dance sets are made up of two 3.5 minute long songs, the club will have approximately eight girls dancing per hour. Keep in mind that there is at least a 30 second interval between dancers, so there is a chance that only seven girls will go up on stage per hour/per stage.

Depending on how many stages there are in your club, how many girls are on the rotation schedule, and how many customers there are, you’ll most likely make between $10 and $50 per stage show.

3. Supplement your money from stage dances, with money from private dances. Most lap dances are between $10 and $20 per dance, so the key to making a lot of money is to keep your customer buying dances from you once you’ve already got him in your chair. The best thing to do is make your lap dance the most seductive during the last 30 seconds. When you can hear the song starting to end, ask your customer if he wants you to continue. If you’ve done it right, he’ll want more!

4. Add your two sources together. Taking the money you make off stage dances and adding it to the money you can make by getting customers to buy lap dances from you, you can make between $80 and $100 an HOUR. Of course, this amount may vary… some nights you’ll make more and some nights you’ll make less, but this is the average you should expect.

Tips:

*  Always be nice to customers, even if they don’t tip you.

*  People who don’t tip you at first, might have a change of heart and tip you later in the night, so always try to collect your tips from non-tippers again.

*  Don’t expect everyone to tip you. They may not have seen your dance because they just walked in, just got back from the bathroom, or was getting a private dance from another dancer.

*  Don’t take rejection personally.

*  To  make the most money, try not to drink or do drugs at work, they will hinder your ability to keep track of who has tipped you the most and who might be possible sources of private dance income.

Warnings:

*  It’s easy to get upset if someone doesn’t tip you, but don’t let it consume your night and put you in a bad mood. Just pick yourself up and know that some customers tip more than others, so in the end it’s a wash.

*  Don’t steal customers from the stage when another girl is dancing. Have common courtesy and make sure that you’re trying to get lap dances without offending other dancers.

*  Don’t take too much time collecting your tips after your stage dance, guys have a hard time remembering the last dancer once a new girl is on stage.

How to be a stripper – the ultimate stripper guide